by Ayannah Garcia

The holiday spirit brings warmth to cold and dark winter days. “This is my winter song… December never felt so wrong,” 

—Lyrics by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles

When I think of the holidays, I think of the songs “Apocalypse” by Cigarettes After Sex, “Folklore,” and “Evermore” by Taylor Swift. We are now feeling the winter cold that was once an autumn breeze. I love and hate it all to a degree in which I can’t decide, so I never do. I burn for the cold chills and the nostalgia each drop of snow brings to me. Yet often the lack of motivation and sickness extinguish whatever energy that was flowing in my body. And still, my mind continues to amaze and exhaust me during these so-called “Happy Holidays.” Ideas flow through my brain but I’m too tired to get a hold of them, so I watch them slip away like snow falling through my fingers to the ground.

Christmas parties make me stay in my room until 4:00 AM watching TV, chilling with my dog, and not coming out unless it’s for food. I hear laughter from downstairs and wonder what it must feel like to not be anti-social. I can’t even talk the whole-time guests are over for holiday dinners. Winter might not be for me.

But it is for me. New Christmas movies and music releases make me feel alive. The anticipation of Christmas the next day on Christmas Eve ignites the dead feeling inside. It comes around for a month then leaves me in the cold darkness once the new year begins for eleven long months of sorrow. The warm kindle of Christmas still lingers even after it’s over for just a little bit. It sprinkles its leftover warmth over a sibling’s birth month. Then soars through the sky after its work is done—up, up and away into the clouds, and disappears, leaving scattered homes with decorations still up.

Sometimes it comes early and turns everything around. After Halloween, the trees are up, and it feels magical like a dream come true. Decorations on houses confuse me as to what month it is, yet some people don’t care. I like for Christmas to arrive when Thanksgiving is almost over, and then the festivities can start.

Cozy Christmas drinks and seeing snow is the best way to spend winter. Or even just sitting around in your house enjoying the wondrous views of the city. As it gets closer to Christmas, we countdown the minutes ‘til we can celebrate how we want to. Then it’s Christmas Eve and we hope for the day to quickly pass by so it can be Christmas already. Opening presents after waiting all night, with the feeling of warmth all around us is the best way to spend your time. All day we play with our new things and then it’s already time to go to bed. Christmas is now over but the magical feeling still lingers, and spreads throughout the house, out the window, and all around the town concealing itself within the winter air.

About Ayannah Garcia

Ayannah Garcia is a freshman attending Richwoods High School, where she takes part in the Pre-IB program, the Royalettes dance team, and the drama club. Outside of school, she loves to dance, read, journal, travel with family, and play with her dog. In addition to these activities, she is currently a member of the Finale Group of the Greater Peoria Illinois Chapter of Jack and Jill, an organization for young African American individuals who want to serve the community, and a member of her church’s youth group.

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